Don't Break (The Reluctant Heart Book 1) Read online

  Kenneth wasn’t worried what his parents were going to say any longer. Based on what Jerry had said, their mother might actually be turning over a new leaf. She would always be headstrong when it came to business, but maybe she would be more willing to let her children have a life different from hers.

  “I guess we’ll see at the family gathering, because I’m going to bring Shanda,” he said.

  “I’d have been surprised if you didn’t. You might want to call your other brothers and touch base. It might also give them something to think about besides what’s going on with Mother.”

  Kenneth laughed. “What you mean is, throw myself under the bus. Yeah, no thanks. I’ll let you do that.” He didn’t want to answer everyone’s questions, and he knew Jerry had no issue retelling the tale, with his own twist. Smooth with words; it’s why he’s so damn good at sales.

  “It will be my pleasure. Just so you know, I’m going to make you sound really pathetic when I do,” Jerry teased.

  “Just as long as Shanda doesn’t,” he warned.

  “Hell no. From what Mother had said about her, Shanda’s more than what meets the eye. And from what I know about you, little brother, she better be as headstrong as I’ve been told,” Jerry said.

  Oh she is. That and a whole lot more. “Guess you’ll learn that if you give her any shit. She’s really not a pushover.” Those country girls are a lot tougher than you’d think. “Guess I better use this time to get some work done.”

  “You going to call Mother?” Jerry asked.

  “I’m going to stop by the house. Want to join me?” Kenneth asked.

  Jerry laughed. “Are you kidding me? I’ve got some phone calls to make. Can’t wait to hear what your other brothers think.”

  And just like with you, it won’t change my mind.

  He ended the call and then spent the rest of the day making arrangements with clients. He wasn’t walking away from his business, as Jerry may have thought. But there was no reason why he couldn’t commute and be in Boston, or New York, or Paris, if the deal required it. Shanda hadn’t asked anything of him except to always tell her the truth. Finally he knew what that was. Now all he needed was the plan to make it all happen.

  My biggest investment ever.

  He’d never thought the day would come when he actually wanted his mother’s advice.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Mom, I’m not sure what to do. Kenneth is…wonderful. He not only supports me with Home Blown, but he is so thoughtful about everything. I know I’m holding him back by being in Hope Valley. It’s always been my home, and part of me is afraid to leave, but not as much as I am afraid to lose Kenneth,” Shanda said.

  “Sweetheart, I know you love it here. We all do. But if you think for one minute that I’d stay if it meant spending most of my nights alone, without your father, then you’re wrong. This might be the family home, but what makes the family is the people in it. If you think what is right for you is to go live in Boston, then I say follow your heart,” Paula said.

  “Mom, you make is sound so simple, when it isn’t. Everything is here. My work, my family, my house.”

  “Well, you can open Home Blown only a few days a week. And Kenneth had said he was going to help find a manager for the shop. That’s another excuse scratched off. Are there any more or are you willing to tell me what is really holding you back?”

  Shanda couldn’t believe none of that was enough. To her, they added up to a mountain. But her mother was right. None of that was holding her here. It was a fear of letting go and not knowing what the future held. He hadn’t told her that he loved her, then again, she hadn’t said the words either. His actions seemed to reflect those feelings, but what if she was wrong?

  “My heart. I don’t want him to break my heart,” she admitted softly.

  “Has he given you any reason to be concerned that he would?” Paula asked.

  “Mom, he’s a billionaire in Boston. I’m a country girl with a shop in the red. Isn’t that enough?”

  Paula chuckled. “I hate to tell you this, but you sound like his mother.”

  “What? I’m nothing like her,” Shanda said.

  “Really? You told me she made you feel as though you might not be worthy of being in her family,” Paula said.

  “That was before. We ironed all that out and things are better.”

  “For her. But not for you. Think about it. If she has no issue with your financial status, then the only person holding onto that is you.”

  “But Mom…”

  “Don’t ‘but Mom’ me. You know darn well that I’m right. What’s funny is, you don’t normally worry about those things. Kenneth obviously is aware of your status too since he’s helping with the business.”

  “That’s what sucks. He knows what I’m bringing to the table and it isn’t prime rib,” she said.

  “Shanda, may I ask you a question.” Shanda nodded and Paula said, “Would you rather he give up everything and move to Hope Valley to be with you?”

  Her eyes widened with shock. “Of course not. I hate even knowing that he has to travel so much because of me.”

  “I believe Kenneth loves you. And I also believe he’ll make that move if you don’t. Now you have to decide what is more important to you. Right now, it is your happiness, and future, that is on the line. If you let fear start guiding your decisions, it won’t matter if you stay or go. You’ll be putting yourself in a box that you might not be able to get out of,” Paula stated.

  I just wish I knew how he felt.

  “How do I broach the subject? I can’t tell him I’m willing to move to Boston. He hasn’t asked me to. That will sound…pushy.” She was worried about scaring him away, too.

  “Have you spent the night with him in Boston?” Paula asked. “Sorry, I’m not trying to pry into your personal life. Pretend it’s not your mother asking the question.”

  That wasn’t going to be easy, but she was a grown woman and they knew Kenneth had stayed several nights at her place. “No I haven’t. He hasn’t invited me to, either.”

  “Then invite yourself,” Paula said.

  “Mom, I can’t believe you want me to just tell him I’m spending the night,” Shanda stated, in shock.

  “Not in those words. You can make it seem like it’s his idea. He has to travel so much and you wouldn’t mind doing some of the traveling instead.”

  “So you want me to trick him into asking me to stay,” she said. Paula shrugged. “I can’t do that. We promised to always say the truth.”

  “Then why are you sitting here with me instead of discussing this with him?” Paula asked.

  No answer for that one either. Her mom really wasn’t in her corner for this. “Are you sure you’re not trying to get rid of me? Because you’re pushing me to move.”

  “No sweetheart. I’m telling you what your heart already knows. Now go and tell it to Kenneth before you chicken out,” Paula smirked. “And I would make that conversation happen today.”

  “Mom, there isn’t a major rush. I just needed to bounce this off someone and I didn’t want to talk to DeeDee about it,” she said.

  Her mother reached out and gave her a huge squeeze. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for that. You two have been confidants since you were tiny. Finally I get to give the motherly advice.”

  “Mom, I always asked you for advice,” Shanda reminded her.

  “But you never took it. I really think you should this time. Kenneth appears to be a good man, and I’ve never seen you so happy. Shanda, take the risk. Trust him. Trust yourself.”

  She smiled at her and said, “Okay Mom. I’ll call him tonight and tell him I want to talk.”

  Paula made a face. “Maybe don’t use those words. He’ll worry that something is wrong.”

  “I wish you could just do it for me. You know, ask him what his plans are for us,” she half joked.

  “I don’t have to. I already know,” Paula said.

  Shanda peered int
o her mom’s eyes and asked, “Has he come back here without me?”

  “No.”

  “Called?” she asked.

  “Nope,” Paula replied.

  Shanda wasn’t usually so untrusting, but for some reason she had a feeling her mom was holding something back. “Why is it I’m not sure I should be trusting you right now?”

  “I’m your mother. You can always trust me. Now, go home, think about what I said, and tell Kenneth how you feel. You might find he’s feeling the same way,” Paula said.

  Confused, frustrated, and in love?

  Shanda got up and said, “Thanks Mom. I’ll let you know what he says.”

  “Okay, but I’m telling you, I already know his answer. It’s written all over his face when he looks at you.”

  She headed out to her car, but was feeling a bit more hopeful. Not that she had any idea how she was going to start the conversation, but at least she knew tonight it was taking place.

  As she drove up her street, she noticed a surveyor on the road near her property. It wasn’t something she normally saw in her area unless someone was selling. She pulled over her car and shouted, “Excuse me. Are you looking at my property?” She wasn’t selling, but hopefully the bank wasn’t doing it for some reason that she wasn’t going to like. As far as she knew, she was up-to-date with payments for her loan and her taxes. I think I am.

  The man walked over and said. “Mr. Crawly is selling several acres.”

  “But his farm butts up against my land. What’s he doing with the cows?” she asked.

  “Mr. Crawly said he’s moving them to the other side.”

  “That makes no sense. Why would he sell?” she asked.

  “Mr. Crawly said he got an offer he couldn’t refuse. Mr. Crawly said whatever they are building between your two properties must be mighty big and important, because they paid top dollar for it.”

  “You mean like condos or something?” she asked.

  “Don’t know. Just marking off what is being sold.”

  “How…many acres?” she asked.

  “Fifty acres,” he replied.

  Holy shit! She owned about ten. If they bought that from Mr. Crawly, she didn’t doubt they’d come knocking on her door to buy hers as well. The right price and I’m selling.

  “Also bought twenty-five acres on the other side of you too,” he said.

  “They are buying the property all around me?”

  “Yes ma’am. If you’re lucky, you’re next.”

  She said, “Thank you.” Rolling up her window, she pulled into her driveway and sat in her van trying to process it all. She wanted to be free to move to Boston. Maybe this was the universe making a way for that to happen. But if they didn’t purchase her property, she could be stuck living with neighbors that she didn’t want. I’m not ready for all this change. I want my quiet porch. I want Kenneth on it with me.

  Wants didn’t matter. Her mom was right. Even this house didn’t mean as much to her as Kenneth did. Let them have it. As long as I have Kenneth, I have everything I need to be happy.

  She grabbed her purse and went inside. Maybe a hot shower would help put her mind at ease. All this worrying had only accomplished one thing: a major headache.

  As she turned on the shower, her phone rang. This at least would brighten her day.

  “Hello Kenneth, how’s your day?”

  “Good, but I’m stuck in Boston. I have a major deal I’m working on that I need to finish. I won’t be able to see you until tomorrow night. Is that okay?”

  It was nice that he was concerned, but just reiterated the reason why she should relocate. He needed to have access to Boston, and Hope Valley was too far of a daily drive.

  “Of course it is. Kenneth, you don’t have to come down here so much. I love seeing you, being with you, but I know your business is in Boston. Take your time. We can see each other on the weekend. Or if you want…I can come up to Boston one night.” There. She did it. The door was open, and all he needed to do was to invite her. But he didn’t.

  “I’ll be there tomorrow night. It might be late, so don’t wait to eat. But I promise, I’ll be there.”

  “Okay. Good night Kenneth,” she said, trying to hide her disappointment.

  “Good night baby. I’ll text you in the morning.”

  With that, he ended the call and she was left feeling worse than ever. She really needed him tonight. He would know what to do about what was going on in her neighborhood. He always had a good suggestion. Not that she took them all, but at least she listened.

  Damn I miss him.

  Kenneth pulled into her driveway. The lights were still on in the bedroom, which meant she probably was in there reading some magazine. It was good that she followed the trends of home décor, but didn’t have it affect her own personal creativity. It was what made Home Blown unique.

  There was a lot he had to talk to her about. His gut said this was the right decision to make, but he really should’ve spoken to her before making it. His rationale for not doing so was that he believed in what they had together. Hopefully she did too.

  Kenneth turned off his car, and headed to the front porch. He tried the door and smiled when he found it locked. Of course she hadn’t given him a key, so he had to do like any other visitor. Knock. It sucked and he hoped after tonight that would change. He was ready for the next step in their relationship: living together.

  Even before he knocked, the door was opening. “I saw your headlights.” She practically leaped into his arms. “I’ve missed you,” she said.

  Wrapping his arms around her, he held her close. “I’ve missed you too.” He looked down and noticed she was only in her baby-doll nightgown. “You shouldn’t be out on the porch in that. What if someone saw you?”

  “I was hoping someone did. You,” she smiled.

  He scooped her up into his arms, walked into the house, and kicked the door shut behind him. “You know damn well I wasn’t talking about me,” he said. Anyone could go by.”

  “Maybe a stray cow, but I’m afraid that might be changing,” she answered, her bright eyes now dull.

  “Don’t like cows?” he asked.

  “You really don’t want to talk about this right now, do you? I mean, you’ve been in Boston for a few days and I thought that…”

  He kissed her gently and said, “I missed you too. But I want to hear how your day was. We have plenty of night ahead of us for…everything else.” Kenneth didn’t want to rush tonight. He knew once they started, he’d never talk to her about what he’d decided. “Why don’t we sit down and talk.”

  “Is that really what you want to do?” she asked playfully.

  It was killing him. His body was reacting to her sexy voice, but his head reminded him what was on the line. “For now,” he said, letting her feet drop to the floor. “I promise, I’ll make it up to you later.”

  That brought a smile to her face as he sat on the couch. It was difficult not to reach out and sit her on his lap like usual. Right now, the more distance the better, at least for the moment.

  “So what do you want to talk about? If you say Home Blown, I think I’m going to scream,” she warned.

  “No. I actually wanted to talk to you about my business.” That seemed to have gotten her attention and she sat up and moved a few inches away from him.

  “I’m listening.”

  “You know it’s been challenging lately trying to be in two different places. I hate leaving you so early in the morning just to avoid the rush-hour traffic,” he said.

  “I know. I’ve been thinking about that myself. This isn’t working for either of us. I stay up so late waiting for you to come back. And I worry about you on the road all the time,” she said.

  “I don’t want you worrying about me. But something has to change. It’s…not working the way I had hoped. And really, it’s not fair to either of us. So a change needs to happen,” he said.

  “I agree. And I wanted to talk to you about that too. Last n
ight I was going to…well…I thought maybe I could go to Boston and spend the night, so you don’t have to always be the one going without sleep.”

  “No. I don’t want you in Boston. It’s not your type of place,” he said.

  The sadness reflected on her face. “You don’t think I’d fit in there?” she asked.

  Fuck! “That’s not what I meant. It’s busy and loud and bright. You won’t get to see your stars each night like you do here.”

  “If that even continues. I’ve decided that I’m selling my place. I’m moving,” she said.

  “What? When did you decide to do that?” he asked.

  “Like you, I decided I needed a change. This wasn’t working for me either,” she said.

  “And where are you going?” he asked.

  Shanda huffed. “It doesn’t matter. This place won’t be the same soon anyway. They are going to build condos or a shopping center or something here, and what I love about the place won’t exist any longer anyway.”

  “Who told you they were building either around here?” he asked.

  “Why else would someone buy up all the land around me? It won’t be long before they come knocking on my door and want mine too,” she said.

  “That won’t happen,” he said.

  She looked at him and said, “How do you know?”

  The time was here for him to lay all the cards on the table. Either he was about to make everything a hell of a lot better, or a whole lot worse.

  “I bought it,” he announced.

  “What? You? Why?” she asked.

  “As I was saying, we needed to make a change. This wasn’t working,” he said.

  “So you’re building a house next to mine? That doesn’t change anything Kenneth. You will work in Boston,” she said firmly. “All it does is give us separate beds, which also doesn’t work.”

  “I’m not building a house; well, not unless you want a different one.”

  “Then why buy up all the land?” she asked.

  “The travel is too much. And I can’t do shit while driving. I don’t want to ruin everything you have here, or what your neighbors have either. Can’t be upsetting the cows or the deer or whatever else is out there.”