Virgin For The Fourth Time: Barrington Billionaire's Series: Book Four Read online

  “That bad? Okay. I’ll have them put a shot of espresso in mine.” He heard Morgan laugh before she hung up the phone.

  Bennett wanted to play it off as though he didn’t, but he needed her help. If she knew he was holding back, she’d shut him off as well. There were a lot of reasons why a woman would react in such a manner. None of them in my favor. Bennett once again decided to drive himself. Right now he needed to have control over something, and the gas pedal was going to have to do. The limo driver seemed to care too much about the speed limit. He needed to make it out of Boston and across town in much less time than it would normally take. Whatever fines he incurred would be well worth it.

  When he arrived, Morgan was already sitting at a table off in a corner where they could talk more privately. The waitress grabbed his coffee order before he had a chance to sit down.

  Morgan smiled at him. “I come here all the time. A little birdy may have given her a heads-up.”

  Bennett looked back at the waitress scurrying around. When he turned toward Morgan again, he asked, “I sounded that bad on the phone?”

  She shook her head. “Not at all. But let’s get real. You contact me for help, a stay-at-home mother. That speaks volumes.”

  “Don’t knock that. My mother held that same position. There were many days she said my father had it easier going to work. Knowing what a pain in the ass I was as a teenager, I don’t doubt that for one minute.” He honestly never gave much thought about what it took to be a parent until recently. Maybe it was because he never thought he’d be one. Even now, he thought it would be his younger brothers who would be fathers long before he would. A child needs stability.

  “Well, from your call this morning, I think you might still be a work in progress,” Morgan teased. “So are you going to tell me what you did or do you want me to guess?”

  “What makes you think I did anything?”

  “Simple. You didn’t go to Shaun. If you had, then I’d say Zoey had done something.” Morgan sipped her coffee looking mighty smug.

  Damn, she’s good. I was worried Doug would be hard on my ass. Add it to the list of mistakes this week. I don’t make them. What the hell is Zoey doing to me? “I’m here because I don’t know what I did.” That was the truth. He knew what he was doing at the time she entered the living room, but there was no way that was the cause of all this.

  “So, let’s start from the beginning.”

  “I took her out, introduced her to a buddy of mine who is visiting from Texas. We dropped him off. Everything was good that night. The next morning, I was playing the piano, and she came in and screamed at me and told me to get out.” That pretty much summed it up without too much detail. He was sure she could fill in the blanks herself.

  “Just playing the piano? Not singing or anything?”

  “Nope. There were no words and my playing wasn’t so bad that she’d kick me out either.”

  “Was it a love song or something that could’ve reminded her of another time?”

  He hadn’t thought of that. “Not that I know of.”

  “What’s the name of the song?” Morgan asked.

  His mind ran through the sheets again. None of them had a title. All were just the beginning of compositions, all left unfinished. “There wasn’t one.”

  Morgan shook her head. “Were you playing something you made up?”

  Although he loved music, he was never one who composed his own. He could feel what others felt as they wrote theirs, could enjoy and respect each piece for what it was. Yet no matter how he’d tried or wanted to, he’d never been able to connect with the piano as only a true master composer could. He functioned best with a precept of rules and expectations. That’s why I chose to be a Marine. “No. I’d found a folder in the bench with handwritten sheet music. Some of it looked old. The one I was playing had been played many times based on the worn look. Not the oldest.”

  “How can you tell the age? Were they dated?”

  Good point. “No. I should’ve said this was one played often.”

  “I don’t remember Shaun ever saying his father played the piano. If he did, perhaps you stumbled across something of his. That’d get a strong negative reaction from Zoey. Heck, from all the Hendersons for that matter. Would you like me to reach out and ask him?”

  “No. The sheet music doesn’t fit who I knew Henderson to be.” Evil.

  “I’ve asked Zoey about the piano before. She said it was a showpiece. As far as I know, no one has ever sat at it before. Maybe it came with the piano, and there’s no connection to the family at all.”

  What Morgan said made sense except for Zoey’s reaction. She was the key to this mystery. And she was also the one person he couldn’t ask. “I guess I’ve wasted your time.”

  “Bennett, you’re still at square one. If you don’t do something now, she’s going to think you don’t care.”

  “She told me to leave, Morgan. I’m respecting her wishes.”

  She laughed. “You men genuinely don’t understand us at all, do you? She needed time at that moment. Not forever. You’ve given her the space she needed. Now you need to find a way to see her as soon as possible. I would suggest having you both over for dinner, but I believe you need some alone time.”

  Could it really be as simple as that? He showed up and things would be back to where they were the night before she lost it on him? I wasn’t supposed to let it go that far. Nothing will have changed. We’ll both still be living the lie. Maybe I should let it end now before we get more involved than we already are.

  “I’ll think about it.”

  “Bennett, you’re good for her. I haven’t known her that long, but Shaun said you make her happy in a way he’s never seen before. What scares me is I can see something in you that’s already contemplating pulling away. You’re a Marine. I thought they don’t give up.”

  He glared at her. Bennett wasn’t giving up. Morgan didn’t know the entire story. The truth as to why he was even in Boston. Anything that starts on a lie can’t end well. Although this entire charade was my idea, it snowballed quickly. We have so many lies between us, I’m not even sure either of us knows where they end and the truth begins.

  “Don’t let this little argument be the end of what could be something special. Whatever you’re thinking about doing, remember that before you take action. Zoey’s feelings are on the line,” Morgan continued. “Stop thinking like a Marine and think like the musician.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Bennett shot back at her.

  “Don’t try to control things. Love is like the music you were playing. You have to feel it. Otherwise it’s just motion and not emotion.” Morgan let out a heavy sigh. “So disappointed. For a moment when you were talking about playing the piano, I thought you might actually have a romantic bone in your body. But looking at the expression on your face, I see you’re as hopeless as Shaun.”

  Bennett laughed at her boldness. “Somehow you still find that bastard irresistible.”

  “Exactly. So just be you and stop trying to be perfect. We don’t want perfection. We want to be loved,” Morgan said in a serious tone.

  “It’s that simple?”

  “It’s only difficult when men make it that way. Now go before I change my mind about you and call Shaun.”

  Bennett got up and gave her a quick hug. Morgan was like the sister he’d never had. He’d made the right choice by meeting with her. Even though he didn’t have any answers regarding Zoey, he now didn’t feel the need to know. That’s a first for a controlling bastard like me.

  As he drove back to his hotel, he thought about what Morgan had said. All Zoey wanted was his love. It was the one thing he wasn’t sure he could give. Here in Boston, he wasn’t going to get the chance to explore that. I’m not going to get any answers from Jon for a few more days. Maybe a little getaway is what we need. When we get back, I’ll have the answers; then maybe I’ll know what I’m going to do. Right now, I don’t have a fucking clue.
r />   Bennett looked for romantic getaways on his computer, but he couldn’t stay focused. No matter what Morgan said about thinking like a musician, he couldn’t. The piano remained on his mind. It held a question, and he was the type who didn’t stop until he got an answer. Sorry, sweetheart, but whether you like it or not, I need to know.

  He picked up his phone and called Doug.

  “Finally coming up for air?” Doug joked.

  Normally he was able to laugh in almost any situation, but Bennett wasn’t in any mood for his or anyone’s humor. When it came to Zoey, he took her feelings seriously. What mattered to her, now mattered to him. Why, was a question he wasn’t ready to answer.

  “Do you still have Zoey’s file?”

  “I do. What are you looking for?”

  “Anything in there about a piano or music? If not her, how about Henderson or her brothers? Or even that fucked-up grandmother of hers.”

  “From everything you have compiled so far, it appears no one played any instruments. Kind of odd for a family of that wealth. They were the most privileged, but were held back from what would’ve been common amongst their peers.”

  “Meaning?” Doug understood he wanted the long answer. This time he needed it. If Doug missed something, then hopefully, he was about to catch it.

  “Music is one, and sports would’ve been a second.”

  “I thought Brice played football.”

  Doug laughed. “Think rich. Polo. Golf. Sailing. Racquetball. Brice would’ve only played football to go against his father’s wishes. From what we know about him already, he was the first to stand up to James.”

  This just added more questions. “With money not being an issue, why wouldn’t they have done these things?”

  “Because he wanted to keep them under his thumb. He did so effectively until they were adults. Slowly, one by one, each of the brothers chose to stand up to him and make their own way in life, walking away from the family fortune to make one on their own. It takes a lot of strength to do that. Especially after what they’d suffered as children. It says a lot about who they are as individuals.”

  It also says something about Zoey. She was the only person who stayed by her father’s side, unable to break away. Each of her brothers had noticed their father’s hatred toward Zoey. Why? He heard it, saw it in how they functioned in business and in life. Her brothers each told him Zoey had experienced intense verbal abuse. What was her outlet? Does she have one? Or does she still have all that shit bottled up inside her?

  “I need your help.”

  “That’s why I’m here, Bennett.”

  “Can you find something about the piano in her house? Who it belonged to previously? How she came to be in possession of it?” And who wrote the music that caused her such pain?

  “How do you expect me to gather that information without going inside?”

  “I’ll take her to dinner and give you the code to the house. While we’re out, you gather what you need. Inside the bench, there is a folder of sheet music. I want you to make copies for me.”

  Doug said in a serious tone, “What you’re asking is called breaking and entering, so count me out. I’d tell you not to do it yourself either, but I told you not to get close to her, and you did. Then I said don’t sleep with her and you did. So fuck it. You might want to leave me money.”

  “For what?”

  “Bail. You’ve always lived on the line, but this is the first time I’ve seen you actually crossing it. I hope you know what you’re doing. From where I sit, this can only end one way. Badly.”

  That was something Bennett already knew. He’d thought out all scenarios and each time it only got worse. What was adding a B & E to the growing list going to do? She’s going to hate me no matter what I do, so I might as well make sure I fix what I can before then.

  “Don’t worry about what I do. You just get me the information I need once I give you the sheet music.”

  Bennett hung up the phone. When he’d left Morgan, he was fully invested in making things work with Zoey. Somehow he’d just chosen a plan that was going to do anything but that. Sorry, sweetheart. I’ll make it up to you one day. Just how remains yet to be seen.

  Chapter Fourteen

  She knew there would be a gap of time that Bennett would honor her request, but he’d pushed it mighty close. It wasn’t his fault that she felt broken and didn’t know how to trust. Her natural instinct was to put her heart back in a box and shut down emotionally. It was easier that way. Nothing could hurt her. Nothing except me.

  She wasn’t ready to go back into that dark, lonely place that Bennett had brought her out of with his warmth and humor. Until he stepped into her life, she didn’t realize how alone she was. It was sad that neglect and abuse were things she’d come to expect and worse—accept. Zoey hadn’t allowed herself to dream of anything more for fear of rejection. It was the first time she tried to let someone into her dark and lonely world. Would he want to go there?

  Zoey knew she needed to be more open than she had so far. If she ever hoped to have a real relationship with Bennett, he needed to know who she was. There was one problem with that. She’d buried that person so deep for her self-protection and sanity she wasn’t sure she could find her anymore.

  She’d been thinking about her demons and Bennett ever since he’d texted her earlier that day asking her to dinner. This visit was the time to talk, open up. Waiting for him made her hands tremble. What could she say? Where should she start?

  Zoey heard the doorbell. She took one last look at herself in the mirror before greeting him. As she opened the door, apprehension gripped her; she knew right away she didn’t want to leave the house. “I’ve changed my mind.”

  He looked at her, stunned.

  “There is so much I want to say to you, explain to you, and I can’t do that in some stuffy restaurant. What do you think about ordering in?”

  He watched her for a moment, then nodded. “I think you’re right. We both have a lot to say.”

  As she walked into the living room, she stopped and stared at the piano. Maybe the kitchen would be better. Bennett must’ve picked up on it because he left her plenty of room to turn around and exit again. Without a word, he followed her. Thank you, Bennett. I want to do this, but I need to do it at my pace. And some things I’m not sure I’m ready to share yet. Maybe I won’t ever be.

  Once in the kitchen, she opened a drawer that contained a bunch of take-out menus. “I hate cooking for one, so I usually order out.” The truth was she also hating dining alone in public. Over the years she’d take turns dragging each of her brothers out for lunch, but then they found love; now they were all living their separate lives, no time for her. They didn’t need their sister intruding in their lives.

  “When I’m home I live the same way,” Bennett said as he looked through them. “Do you have a favorite?”

  Zoey nodded. “I’m fond of Thai.” She found the menu she knew by heart and pretended to look through it, but she was going to order her usual. “How does chicken satay, crispy noodle lettuce wraps, and chicken pad Thai sound to you?”

  “Add some beef panang curry and a chocolate fried ice cream, and you’re on.”

  “You and your ice cream. I think you have a sweet tooth,” Zoey teased.

  Bennett laughed. “I don’t believe a meal is complete without dessert. But there’s one problem. I’ll have to eat dessert first, or it’ll melt.”

  “It’d be rude of me to have you eating it alone, so make it two.”

  She watched him call in the order. It was nice having him here, relaxed where they could tease each other. Zoey wasn’t sure she wanted to approach the serious topic of her past again. It’d only ruin the lovely, relaxing time they were both having. When he ended the call and looked at her with his intense, beautiful blue eyes, she knew no matter how painful it was going to be, it was a risk she needed to take. She owed it to him, but more importantly she owed it to herself. I don’t ever want to be without happi
ness, joy, and . . . love again.

  “While we wait, I was hoping we could . . . talk.” Zoey wanted to sound confident, but she knew her voice shook, which wasn’t a great way to approach him. It was like saying here comes some deep sad information, you might want to run.

  Although he became serious, his eyes were soft and gentle. “I think that’s a great idea. Where do you want to start?”

  Any place but with me. But I need to get it out. If this is going to end, then let it be now. It was ridiculous to think that stopping it now was going to hurt any less. She was already in love with him. It didn’t matter if he walked out the door that very minute. Her heart was going to break into a million pieces. But if he did decide to leave, she’d understand and respect his decision. I feel broken. Fragile. Why would he want me? I come with tons of insecurities. What am I going to bring to his life except . . . my issues?

  Bennett reached across the table and covered her hand with his. “I’m here, Zoey. Say want you want. I’m not going anywhere.”

  She fought to hold back the tears that threatened. Bennett truly wanted to know, but he had no idea how ugly it was going to get. “I don’t want to ruin tonight.”

  “Zoey, there is nothing you can tell me that will change how I feel.” How he feels? About me?

  How can it not affect his opinion of me? It hurts me just thinking about it. Never mind saying it. She would trust him as she had since she met him two years ago. Please, Bennett, don’t hurt me.

  “We started talking about my childhood before, but I didn’t give you any details. I . . . I’m not sure you want them, so I’ll give you the short version.”

  “I’ll take whatever you want to tell me.”

  “My father hated me, Bennett. I know it sounds cold and impossible for a father to hate his own child, but it’s true. If there was a negative thing you can call or say to your daughter, he said it all to me. I was always told I’m worthless, stupid, ugly and . . . a . . . whore.” She choked on the last word and stopped to see if she could read what he was thinking. Nothing in his expression had changed.